


World War IV

by starwhale97, tbmd1066



Series: Hot Potato Prompts [15]
Category: Kuragehime | Princess Jellyfish
Genre: Crack, Day At The Beach, M/M, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-16 13:29:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3490001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starwhale97/pseuds/starwhale97, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbmd1066/pseuds/tbmd1066
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shuu and Hanamori go on a romantic date to the beach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	World War IV

It was a beautiful and clear Saturday morning. The summer heat was beginning to set in, and anyone who had the means to visit a beach was doing so.

Hanamori was driving Shuu to a business meeting to do with some sort of financial matter regarding money or politics or the like. If Hanamori was honest with himself, and he usually was, he had long ago lost interest in the subject matter of Shuu's countless meetings. Hanamori glanced over at his companion in the seat next to him. Bead's of sweat were trickling down his face, but he didn't seem to notice. He was staring intensely out the window.

"Hey, Hanamori," He said suddenly.

"Yes sir?"

"What do you think world war IV will be fought with?"

Hanamori stared at him. "I think I have an answer but...I don't think you're feeling well. Perhaps it is the heat?"

Shuu nodded. "You're right. I can't take this heat. You know what? Let's forget this whole meeting, Hanamori. Let's go to the beach. Just the two of us! Right now!"

Hanamori's heart skipped a beat. "Are you sure about that, sir? Isn't this meeting important?"

Shuu shook his head. "I do not care right now."

Hanamori smiled. "Crippling debt."

"What?"

"Crippling debt is the method of battle for the fourth world war. I've researched this topic extensively, and I'm very sure of myself. Let's go to the beach, Shuu!"

He made a quick turn of the wheel, and off to the beach they went.

 

* * *

 

"So..." Hanamori said slowly, "Young master Kuranosuke seems to have been making a lot of new friends lately."

"Yes," Shuu nodded, "I've noticed." He'd especially noticed Tsukimi. But unfortunately he hadn't seen Tsukimi around when Shuu had friends over. 

"It's good for him to have friends. He's seemed lonely lately. He hangs around that Miss Kurashita a lot, doesn't he?"

Shuu blushed. He hadn't noticed. Sure, she'd come over to their house, and they'd gone to the aquarium with her, but he couldn't remember having seen her since. "Do you know if they're close?" he asked, suddenly feeling a bit jealous. 

"I believe they're _very_ close." Hanamori said, arching an eyebrow at Shuu. Shuu knew what Hanamori meant. He certainly knew his brother, anyhow. 

"So that's how it is." Shuu muttered. He tried not to feel too heartbroken. He didn't notice Hanamori smiling.

 

* * *

 

 

Hanamori should have felt bad about lying to Shuu about Tsukimi and Kuranosuke, but to be fair, it wasn't a complete lie! He could see that Kuranosuke did indeed have feelings for Tsukimi, they were more than just friends with benefits, and with Hanamori's own feelings leaning in a different direction... Well, let's just say that he was looking forward to seeing Shuu-san in a swimsuit. If he wasn't too adorably shy. 

Hanamori looked up suddenly and stared deeply into Shuu's eyes.  

"There is something I must tell you."  He said slowly, a nervous look in his eyes.

"You can tell me anything." Shuu replied, probably a little too quickly.

Just then, an old man threw himself in front of the car.  He hit the hood and bounced off.  Hanamori slammed on the brakes.

"MY BENZ!" He screamed.  Shuu had already unbuckled his seatbelt and jumped out the door to see if the man was okay.  He was laying on the ground, blood beginning to soak through his shrine maiden's outfit.  Around his neck was a crucifix.  

Without missing a beat, Shuu ripped the man's clothes off to begin CPR.  Hanamori felt vaguely jealous.  

Shuu noticed the man's chest had the five precepts tattooed on it.

 _This man is odd._ He thought.

Shuu managed to revive the man, who looked up longingly.

"It is time for me to return to Allah and Muhammed, Praise Be Unto Him." The old man said, and began coughing up blood.  He died and Shuu took a step back.

"The Benz is okay, so theres no worries!" Hanamori said happily.

"Well." Shuu smiled. "That's a relief. Shall we explore the mountainside?"

"Sounds lovely." Hanamori said. "But we cannot drive the Benz up there."

"No, I know, but the weather is beautiful, and I think a walk would be nice. Nothing crazy, just up to the plateau." Shuu suggested. So they walked up the mountain.

"Woah!" Hanamori shouted. "Is that a goat?" he pointed. It was indeed a goat.

"I didn't know there were goats in this area of Japan." Shuu murmured. 

"I didn't know there were goats in Japan, period!" Hanamori chimed. 

"You're getting weirdly excited about this goat."

"Goats are cool." Hanamori nodded. "They have rectangular pupils." He gasped suddenly. "Shuu-san, look, it's eating a can!" 

"Imagine what it could do to the car."

Hanamori straightened up and frowned at Shuu. "A terrifying thought." Shuu tried not to laugh. 

"Come on," he chuckled, "Let's get going."

At last they reached the plateau, overlooking the beach. 

"Wow, you can see the entire ocean from here!" Shuu smiled. He took his glasses off briefly to clean them, so he could see better. 

"Yes, it's beautiful."

Then something unexpected happened.

From behind, a zombie came staggering forward and grabbed Shuu.  With horror, Hanamori realized it was the old man they had killed earlier that day.  For a zombie, the old man was incredibly swift.  He tossed Shuu up high into the air and began laughing like a maniac.

 _Now is my chance!_ Hanamori thought.

He leapt forward with his arms outstretched and managed to catch Shuu mid-fall.  They stared into each other's eyes, blushing softly.

"Oh, Hanamori-san..." Hanamori put his finger on Shuu's lips to shush him.

"We have something important to deal with first."

They turned to look at the zombie, who was now holding a bible in his hand.

He began reading.  "In the beginning-" 

"NOWS OUR CHANCE!" Shuu screamed.  He grabbed a nearby log and whipped it at the zombie man, effectively killing him a second time.  Well, more effectively than the first.  With the zombie dead, a thought struck Hanamori.

"We never did make it to the beach.  The sun is setting now, but I think we still have some time." He said hopefully.  

Shuu smiled.  "Of course we do.  Besides, it's more romantic this way."  

Holding hands, the two of them proceeded towards the shore and took a long, romantic walk together.

THE END

 

**Author's Note:**

> Cards used:  
> I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought with, but World War IV will be fought with _____.  
> Crippling debt,  
> Friends with benefits,  
> Muhammad, Praise be unto Him,  
> A goat eating a can,  
> the Holy Bible
> 
> believe it or not.


End file.
